Dating

SOURCE:  Good News for YOUth, June-July 1999

Why Date a Christian?

by Paul Meacham, III

“And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen 2:18).  Throughout the creation account God said, “It is good,” until He came to Adam’s being alone.  It was at this time that He made Eve to be “an help meet (suitable) unto him” (Gen 2:18).

When God chose a mate for man, He chose one who would be a helper.  When we begin the process of finding a mate, dating, we should be just as interested in finding one who will help us go to heaven.  Therefore, we should date Christians.

When dating, many young people do not think seriously about marriage.  Many view dating as a chance to have fun and nothing more.  After dating a non-Christian, they marry a non-Christian and find themselves in a difficult situation.  Some do not take dating seriously because they believe they have the power to get out of any situation no matter how difficult the situation becomes.  The truth is, the worse the situation becomes the harder it is to get out of.

We have a warning given in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Be not deceived evil companionships corrupt good morals.”  You are probably thinking, “No way!  My companions are not evil!”  Ask yourself these questions:
        Are they helping you attain your goal, heaven?

        If not, are they actively hindering you?  They are doing
             one or the other.

        If the people you date use bad language, drink, smoke
             take drugs in any form, frequent places you know a
             Christian cannot go, or try to get you to do anything
             you should not do, then why do you date them?

        Is that person’s company worth risking your soul?

As young people, our companions often influence us.  Sometimes we are pressured into doing things we would not do otherwise.  This is especially true of those we date.  They tend to exert a great influence over us, both on and off a date.  If we date non-Christians, then the influence will not be an influence for good.  Additionally, if our date is not a Christian, then his or her associates will probably have a poor influence on us as well.

It is human nature to want to be accepted as part of a group.  We gain acceptance by doing what the group is doing.  However, Exodus 23:2 warns us, we are not to do something just because “the group” is doing it.  We must go to the Bible, the standard of right and wrong, to determine whether or not the activity of the group is acceptable to almighty God.  If the activity is not acceptable, then we should not associate with those  who do (Eph 5:11; 1 Thes 5:22).  The right choice is made harder when our date is part of the group encouraging us to do wrong.  If the person we choose to date is a faithful, active, member of the Lord’s body, the strain on us to do something wrong is greatly lessened.

In the fight to remain spiritually pure, we need our closest friends to be those who will help us remain faithful to the pattern set forth by God.

The church is losing her young at an alarming rate.  One of the reasons is because they are dating those who are not members of the church.  In 1 Kings 11:8, we find Solomon burning incense to the gods of his strange (those not Israelites) wives.  Verse 9 shows us that because Solomon’s heart was turned, God was angry.  The man who built the temple of God, was turned away from God by his wives.  You might say, “I am not married, and I have no plan to be any time soon.”  When is the last time you heard of two people getting married without first dating?  If you date those who are not Christians, then you are flirting with danger, the greatest danger of all (Mk 8:36; Lk 9:25).

In conclusion, we will deal with an objection given by those who would date non-Christians.  They always say, “I can change them.”  For those of you who have converted your date, my hat is off to you.  You gave the proper example on and off your dates and in so doing, showed your date the way to salvation.  However, the truth is, if one person is changed it is usually the member of the body of Christ.  As we noted in the previous paragraph, we cannot play with fire.  If nothing else, we should date Christians because we like to be in the company of those of like precious faith.

No person is worth losing your soul over.  Therefore, the relationships we have should not tax our spiritual welfare; rather they should be encouraging and edifying.  If you are currently dating those who are not members of the church, then please carefully consider the danger.  Another could be much better suited to help you in your spiritual growth.

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